♥ WHO REALLY DETERMINES THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION? ♥ 

By Joseph P. Faust, Founder LoveLife University

Two sets of meanings are created when you communicate with someone. There is the intent, your positive intention of what you want the listener to receive; and then there is the impact, what the listener actually receives.

When you communicate with someone, you are in charge of what you send and they are in charge of how they receive it. However, how you send your communication influences how they receive it.

The most effective communicators are aware of the listener’s personal context before they make a communication.

Someone’s personal context is their current reality, which is the combination of how they are feeling and what they currently believe about themselves, the world, their capabilities, and other environmental factors (like you). It’s nothing personal to you, but it is personal about how the listener is listening to you and perceiving their world.

For example, a child is likely to hear a large adult standing above them and speaking in a loud voice very differently than how another adult would hear an adult of the same size and gender. The care, skill, and flexibility of the person sending a communication shapes what is sent; the listener’s current personal context filter’s what is received.

Another example of personal context is being aware of what setting (environment) the listener and receiver are in. Often in a business setting, logical communication is useful and in a romantic situation, heartfelt communication is more useful. The person with more flexibility in the way they communicate relationally is in the best position to influence the receiver.

In any context, the person with the most consciousness is the one who is more responsible for the quality of the relationship. 

If you agree with this statement, then it follows that blaming another person for how you feel is a way of saying someone else is more conscious than you, because they are “more responsible” for the situation. Which simply is not true because your personal perceptions are personal to you. With this level of self-awareness and relational awareness comes great responsibility and the power to influence others in a positive way.